Armadillos! Specifically, nine-banded armadillos (Dasypus novemcinctus)!
These weird little bastards are nocturnal, insectivorous, and about twenty pounds. They can’t roll into a ball, they jump straight into the air if they’re startled, and they always give birth to identical quadruplets.
Above: The related three-banded armadillo, openly mocking its less interlockable cousin.
That shell is more like hardened leather than a turtle’s carapace, which gives them way more flexibility and doesn’t weigh them down too much. This means they can swim and run quite easily and at rather startling speeds, given how awkward they look when they’re just tooling around.
If they come across a predator that they can’t outrun, they dig an insta-burrow and sort of hunker down in it so that they can’t be flipped over or bitten out. This is enough to defeat most of their enemies, which has resulted into a steady northward march across the continental US. They’re a subtropical animal at heart, though, so they can’t store fat for the winter or hibernate, and a bad winter will defeat them handily.
They use those honking claws to dig up insects and plants and to dig out their burrows. They’ve been known to kick turtles out of their burrows and wallow around in ant hills to make it easier to eat the defenders the nest scrambles. They’re also opportunistic meat-eaters, and they’ll steal eggs from nests and snarf small reptiles if it’s too cold for them to run away properly. Do we care? Nope! Lookit those ears!