Inarticulable

Yes, tropical storms come with some rather high winds.  Sorry, tourists!  The economy’s been kind of (really) shitty in most of Florida for some time now, and our governor is fucking terrible, so everybody and their brother has put off proper storm-season pruning and tree maintenance until the last possible minute, and now that it is the last possible minute, the high winds mean it’s not safe to be up a tree pruning things.  That is why you are all flipping out a little every time a palm frond blows past at ten miles an hour.  And why you’re getting out of someplace to find your rental car literally blanketed in Spanish moss.  And why the streets look like a swamp.  The bins and lawn ornaments and outdoor furniture and so forth sailing past are just people being dicks who didn’t properly secure their stuff in light of the storm, though.

That’s like the fifth transformer I’ve heard blow in the past two days.  Get it together, electrical system.

Making me stop grousing about the exorbitant price of replacing my 15-months-out-of-warranty window regulator-and-motor since Saturday night. 

<3 you, Civic, but that thing was expensive.

And inconveniently timed.

And stuck in the “down” position, so there was no just dealing with it until a salvage yard could be located.

…for those of you who don’t sit through them every so often.

You’ve probably heard weatherpeople on tv talking about hurricanes and their bands. While it would be awesome if they meant that the hurricane had swept up a few outdoor music fests, this is, of course, not at all what they mean.

See the striations that start to develop outside of the solid white center?  Bands!  What these translate into for people on the ground as hurricanes roll over the land mass is periods of crap weather, followed by periods of holy fucking shit you guys the world is ending, followed by periods of  crap weather, followed by periods of no seriously you guys this is not normal we are all going to die.  Mostly it’s the repeated variation between crap-but-not-really-remarkable weather and it-will-never-stop-raining-the-Mayans-were-trying-to-warn-us weather that adds up to Freakout City.

Today: 80% chance of precipitation (Tropical Storm Debby)

Tonight: 60% chance of precipitation (Tropical Storm Debby)

Weather Underground, it has not stopped raining hard in unusual, inappropriate directions since Saturday night.  It is currently raining sideways, Weather Underground.  I do not think you know, Weather Underground, what 80% chance of precipitation means.  It does not mean “80% chance the precipitation will power through your roof or make it in under your door.” Once it’s happening, I think we can change that to “100% chance, everybody who’s made of sugar better run, it’s pouring.”

And it has been for the past day and a half.  Half of my coworkers aren’t going to be able to make it in.